As I sit in my office and look at the rain covered window, the drops of water fall into one another like a jigsaw puzzle. Outside it’s cold, wet and miserable. But inside as I…View Post
My motivation has been quite low over the past month or so and I’ve been struggling to figure out where I see myself in the bigger picture. I still don’t have the answers, but eight days in, I’ve finally given myself the permisson to take a step back and breathe.
‘Desire and Destiny’ is the subject of the challenge, and with questions like “Who am I ?” and ”What do I want ?”, it’s not been plain sailing. Well, not for me anyway. Last week’s sessions were tough. And I think that’s because last week I was particularly troubled about what path I was going to take. My business has changed a lot this year and it’s started going in directions that 12 months ago, I would never have dreamed of. Not only am I introducing new ideas and new products, I’ve been trying to win clients at the quietest time of the year. Ian has been telling me to use this time to re-focus and start putting things into place ready for the New Year, but it’s only over the past few days that I’ve realised he might be right. I’ve also given myself the permission to concentrate on using other skills that might help us out over the quiet Christmas period.
I think my main problem is believing in myself. I need to trust myself more, believe in my skills, and believe that when the time is right, things will start to take shape. Everything I’ve done up to this point in my life has led me here, and I may not have always chosen the easiest route, or made the right decision, but I’ve got here. I need to believe that the decisions I make now, will lead me to where I want to be in the future.
The sky was grey and miserable but our spirits remained high and unbroken. Perhaps it was the sugar rush from the sticky toffee pudding muffin that I’d just devoured, or it could have been the natural high of taking the day off, I don’t know. Either way, the torrential rain beating against our legs, and gale force winds pushing us along like power walkers only added to the adventure.
A day off that was long overdue saw a spur of the moment trip to the Tate at Liverpool. We meandered around an exhibition and then stood on the docks and watched boats rise and fall on the water. We drank oversized caramel soya lattes and witnessed a man in his fifties carrying out graffiti. Taking a trip down memory lane, we stood outside Cream as Ian recollected stories from the days before we’d found each other.
We ate soup and gluten free bread at a vegetarian restaurant called MelloMello, although after my impulse muffin purchase, some of the bread lay abandoned on my plate. Not a bad thing really, as I gave it up a few months ago. Apparently. Underneath the restaurant I was intrigued by the rabbit warren like corridors and toliets where the walls seemed to be covered with crazy reclaimed wood.
As we headed back into the cold afternoon air, we stopped off for one more caramel soya latte before finally heading back to the car. With the caffeine high replacing the sugar rush, and the torrential rain pelting down hard on the windscreen, we headed home to bring our spur of the moment adventure to a close.
I love reading. I love filling my brain with information. One of my New Years Resolutions was to read more books, or to be more specific, I wanted to read a book a month. The right book can give me the same satisfaction as devouring a bowl of vegan brownies. Well. Almost.
I get freaked out by clutter and also by how much stuff Ian and I own, so last year when we realised just how many unwanted books we had, a local charity shop was our first port of call. Like many people these days, if I want to get rid of unused items I usually sell them on ebay. But I value books far too much to do that. Selling them as a ‘job lot’ appears to be the only option, and even then they don’t sell for much. Unfortunately, this means that they’ll probably get bought by someone who doesn’t care; they’ll try and flog them at a car boot sale and when they don’t sell, they’ll just throw them away. I hate it when people damage books. It’s sacrilege. At least at the charity shop they’ll get bought by someone who wants them, hopefully by someone who will love and care for them as much as we did. Perhaps picked up by someone in need of a bargain, or looking for something a little bit obscure. It’s recycling at it’s best.
I hate it when people damage books. It’s sacrilege
At the end of last year, to combat the problem of books gathering dust on shelves, my mother-in-law gave me a Kindle. At first I was unsure, as I love actual, physical books. In fact the first thing I do when I purchase a new book is smell the pages. Yep. I open it up and give it a sniff. Don’t judge me. There are far worse things I could be sniffing. Soon enough I began to wonder how I had ever lived without it. Medical appointments, meetings, anywhere I might end up having to wait…..it fits in my bag no problem – it’s so convenient. But along with the convenience also comes drawbacks. Yes, I’ve been doing more reading, but I’ve also spent twice as much as I normally would have on actual books. ‘Buy now with 1-Click’? …..hell yeah! It’s just too easy to see a book, buy it, and have instant access. I call it my Kindle addiction. Although It could be worse, I could be sniffing glue or shooting up.
As for my reading list, I’m suitably impressed with myself that I’ve read 11 books this year so far. Just like exercise, I decided I had to factor it into my life, it had to become a new habit. Exercise has always been a massive part of my life, to the point that I spent 6 years working as an aerobics instructor. So now my days start with breakfast, green tea, reading for 30-45 minutes followed by exercise. If I get chance at the end of the day, I might squeeze in more reading.
In no particular order, here are the books I’ve devoured this year:
Mindfulness in Plain English, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Fire Starter Sessions, 49 Quick Ways to Market your Business for Free, The Gifts of Imperfection, Eat Pray Love, One Day, Anyone Can Do It: My Story (Duncan Bannatyne), Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, The Power of Unpopular, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
1. a person who dreams
2. a person who lives in a world of fantasy; one who is impractical and unrealistic
3. a visionary
4. an idealist
5. a habitually impractical person
These are just a few examples of what comes up when you type dreamer into Google. (Other search engines are available) 😉
I consider myself a dreamer. Sometimes I’m perhaps a bit impractical and Ian has to rein me in – other times I think my dreams can be described more as goals. Things to aim for. If you don’t have anything to aim for, how do you know where you’re heading…… ?